PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
