Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
