that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize