i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
