i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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