He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
