so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
