I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
