She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
