I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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