Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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