it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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