It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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