We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
They are going to name an STD after you.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
