Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
