After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
