wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
