It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
