North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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