It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
