Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
