my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize