Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize