no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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