Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
