JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
