I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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