can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
