"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
