he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
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It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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