Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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