He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
