Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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