lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
