I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
