There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My bed smells like the plague
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
