Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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