cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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