the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
