I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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