Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
