you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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