We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
