Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize