We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
