I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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