You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
