booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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