why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize