YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
