I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
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He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
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Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Someone signed my nipple.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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