Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I love you. Go after that dick
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