Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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