Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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