How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
