i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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