whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize
