You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
