I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
